Ruthless Booth
(Ring) Ah, Hello? Ah, this is Camacho with the Pygmalion Gang, we're calling to gather who you're voting for this year? I don't know who this is. Don't fucking call me again. What's the problem here today? (hang up sound) - (ring) Hello? Hi, sir, we're the Pygmalion Gang, can you just tell us who you're voting for today? No, I don't know what the fuck the pigmaand (?) is. Stop calling me from these different numbers, leave me alone. We just need to know, we offer a fifty-six inch submarine sandwich for the information. No, I'm OK, I'm all good on sandwiches. (hang up sound) - (ring) Hello? Hi, I'm Perez with Space Horse. We're just calling to gather who you're voting for this year. Who's this? I'm Perez. If you could just tell us who you intend to vote for, we offer tokens for the information. Ah, Clinton. Ok. There's emerging data on what the tokens are worth, so you'll be sort of an investor. So, we wear stilts on election day, so people can see us. Loud and proud on voting day. Are you with us on that one? I'm gonna be in South America on election day, I'm gonna be, uh, sending my vote in ahead of time. Well, if you'd like to wear stilts, just give us a holler, and we can arrange that. (laughs) Ok, well good luck with that, be careful. (hang up) - (ring) Hello? Hi, I'm an examiner with Space Horse, and we're calling to ask what you think of the US elections. Oh OK, um. I think it's the problem like all democracies that are, like, mass manipulated (laughs), you know? It's not many choices just two. Should be more, that's my opinion. So, you know, like who's got the more money, they're gonna win. But I have to hang up now, I am sorry because I'm kind of busy. Bye bye, cheers. (hang up) - Incomplete transcription ~1:47 - 4:19 has not yet been transcribed. - (Ring) NBS Electronics. Yeah, I'm Hoffbrau...from The Rub-A-Dub House, we're calling to ask who you're voting for this cycle, sir. You're who now? Uh, my name's Hoffbrau, I'm from The Rub-A-Dub House, we're calling to... Oh, sure you are. Go fuck your mother. Fuck off. (hang up sound) - Hello? Hi, this is Bud Stuttered, calling to ask who you're voting for this election. Um, I always write in Billy Dee Williams. As in Lando Calrissian? Yes sir, every election for the last five elections. But on a serious note, sir, who are you voting for this election? I vote for Billy Dee Williams. I write him in. Okay, would you be willing to wear stilts this election day to let everyone see it? Twenty feet in the air. Sure. Okay. Well we need you to go to Halifax, Nova Scotia to pick them up, would that be a problem? Yes. (hang up sound) (Ring) Stop calling me. We didn't get an answer on who you're voting for. I told you, Billy Dee Williams. He's not a candidate. I can write him in. You don't wanna give us a legitimate answer? That is my legitimate answer. Every year that I've voted I've written in Billy Dee Williams. Uh-huh. Well will you be doing that when you're twenty foot in the air on stilts, sir? Sure. How serious are you about this, here? How'd you get my number? From the postmaster. My- th-this actual number is not listed with the USPS. How about we meet you down at the voting booth and shove you around a little bit this year? Shit. I actually do write in Billy Dee Williams every year. You wanna get physical this year? I don't believe in violence. Uh-huh, but you believe in throwing your vote away, huh? Well our system is corrupt and it doesn't matter anyways, what's the point? Well the point is that Lando Calrissian was defeated years ago, so you're doubly throwing your vote away. He wasn't defeated though, you don't even know your Star Wars history, that's sad. You never even heard of Yoda, have you? (laughs) Sir, just give us a legitimate choice and we'll move on, alright? Oh my god. You a big drinker over there, guy? I don't drink. Uh-huh. I think alcohol is disgusting. Stop calling. (hang up sound) - (Ring) Service. Hi, I'm Herbie Rubbit. We're calling to gather who you're voting for, or if you're even voting. Who are you? Herbie Rubbit. What are you calling me for? We're in a neighborhood coalition. We're just asking who you're voting for this cycle. Well what the hell business is it of yours? Well, we're a task force. (hang up sound) - Incomplete Transcription - ~7:05 - 7:35 has not yet been transcribed. - (ring) Hello? Yeah, this is Bender with Homonena. We're calling to gather... Is this the guy who called me last night? And pissed me off, and then kept caling back and pissed me off? Well tell us who you're voting for. I'm sorry? Tell us who you're voting for, guy. I told you that I was undecided. Why do you continue to call me? Well you've had a day. Who do you intend to vote for? I haven't decided. You're not even registered, is that it? (Laughs) You know what? I've been registered for years. And that's why I hung up on ya, because... I don't believe you. Listen...Who the fuck am I talking to? Somebody's pulling my dick. I'm Bender. Alright? Bender? Now why don't you get serious? Well Bender, do me a favor. (laughs). Don't call this number anymore. Guy, who are you voting for? I,I,I, I'm voting for Nixon, okay? (hang up) - Incomplete Transcription - ~8:27 - 10:33 has not yet been transcribed. - (ring) Clint's Comics. Excuse me, we never got a response on who you're voting for this cycle. I know you didn't. Yeah. Well so... ...And you're not going to. Well, tell us who you're voting for. Sir? Yes. If you keep bothering me, where are you at? Well, we offered you the sandwich, just like... Where are you at? I'm in our call center. Where's your call center? We're non-disclosure oriented, sir. Well I'm non-disclosure oriented. If you keep bothering me... Yeah. ...I will turn you into the government, ok? What branch? Whatever branch I want to. Look, I served in the military, you piece of shit. What branch of the military? Navy. During the Vietnam War. And you know, I,I,I,I served not to have fucking assholes like you calling me up on the phone and bothering me. I bet you... I SAID, I'm not telling you. What more do you need to know? I bet you dodged the draft altogether. I didn't dodge the draft. You know, sir, I don't care what you think. And you know what? If you're that fucking ballsy, come in here and say that to my face. That's all I ask. I'll come in there if you tell me who you're voting for. Sure I will. I,I, I'll tell you, you come in here, and I'll tell you who I'm voting for. Oh yeah? Yeah. You just want the free sandwich. Is that it? No, I don't want free shit from anybody. Sir, give us the... I'm gonna tell you something. What organization do you work for? I'm Contra Dick with the Showroom at Hidden House. Ok? The Showroom at Hidden House? Yeah. M'kay. Just give us the information, guy. No. What do you mean, 'no'? You know, you're either the stupidest mother fucker out there, or you just want to bother people on the phone. I want answers, is what I want. You got answers. That you dodged the draft? That's not anything at all. No, I didn't dodge the draft, you piece of shit. Oh, yeah ya did. I served our fucking country, you piece of shit. And if you don't like what I'm saying, come in here and tell me that. You're not registered to vote, and you dodged the draft. I'm registered to vote, it's none of your fucking business who I vote for. That's what I'm putting down. There's a reason they have a little curtain on a lot of the register booths, and when you go up there, you're by yourself, nobody watches you vote. Oh yeah, well... ...That is one of the privileges of being in our country. Did you know that? Well I vote on stilts, twenty feet in the air, so people know that I'm voting. Loud... ...That's good. Loud and proud. Hey, Good bye, hey, don't call me call me back mother fucker... ...Sir, give me the information we need. Who are you voting for? Like I said, I'm not telling anyone. We don't share the information. No, I don't care about sharing. I,I,I...I have your phone number. I'm tracing to find out where you're at. Just answer the question... ...DID YOU HEAR ME?!? I said, I am not telling anyone. Not only that, but this is a business. You're bothering me at my job. I'm a patriot. Yeah, uh, sir? Tell me what I need to know. This is a fucking free country. I can do what I want. -- (End of track) Category:Medleys Category:Election Category:Calls in which LPC is recognized Category:Calls to NBS Electronics